why is it when i start to feel things are going right, everything falls apart in an instant?


it's driving me insane dealing with everything. it's the first time in my life i'm starting to think that i'm being fucked by life. i'm not the kind of person that gets put down so easily. but it's getting harder each day.

my relief is in searching pictures that i'm able to express myself through. hais. i would love to take my own pictures and have them here instead. i'm still learning and there's many restrictions for a 5mega pixel handphone camera.

not that i'm complaining. i do get not bad pictures when i get lucky.




it's damn frustrating nowadays. i'm confused over everything that i'm supposed to do. and i seemed to mess up every part of my life. love, friends, responsibilities....



recently i've become more and more moody. and i get tired of socialising. in the first place, i was never the sociable kind of person la. just that in poly, you really need to socialise in order to survive.

no, not peer pressure la. reputation and good connections is what you'll need right? to get all the help you can get.

hais. i feel so alone even though friends keep telling me that they'll be there for me and all. really appreciate it very much. but sometimes, i just feel that i need to be alone to clear my own mess.


people who know me well should also know that i'm not the suicidal nor the self-inflict kind of person la. so no worries aye?

thing is, do you trust me?

i'm hurt and exhausted. my only output is training, blogging, and dancing. blogging is starting to get restricted in many ways. mainly because it's a huge information source for people who know me. i love to keep people in suspense..

i should get over it la. for now, just let me dance away my troubles at butter factory tomorrow. finally.



and here's a few songs to share..




before i end, shopping is always the best remedy for girls i think. went to buy my bikini yesterday. it's something that i've been eyeing on for a pretty long time. finally it was on discount and i found my courage to get it. can't wait to wear it (:

and, i really love this blogshop --> http://treslovechic.livejournal.com

advertising for free!! haha. so many stuff i want to get in the newest collection la! there's the black striped zipper top, black lace minivest, jackets, acid wash highwaist skirt, shoes, belts..... OMG.

aiya i'm a goner la. i realise i spend excessively when i feel extremely upset or extremely happy. i really need to get a better part-time job now.

ps: i wanted to watch FRIENDS but look at the time now? somemore i got to wake at 1130am.

night all.

♥ 4:17 AM