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LIUYING, ANDEY

"20 is auntie" as someone says.
my birthday is on 6July,
DO NOT forget.
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    Wednesday, August 30, 2006

    haha. i realise i keep having to blog about my stuff 24hours after it happened. LoL! cause either i reach home too late or i'll be too lazy and decides to wait till i'm bored. well, for this case? i was actually watching "Gong" with my mom last night! LoL!!

    "Gong" is a really cute show!! shan't give any spoilers in case you guys want to watch it. xD

    oh well, i went out to study yesterday. guess what? i woke up at 7am!!! LoL, that's almost the usual time i go to school. baah!! so yeah. woke up at 7am and met phy, cow and nehnehpok at 8am. as USUAL, nehnehpok was late. haha. but nevermind!! we are all forgiving people *blushes*. k anyway, we were headed for bugis national library. heard it has a study lounge and that the environment is very suitable for studying. also, the place is so popular that we have to arrive at the time it opens, which is at 9am, to get good seats. so we did. but the seats................ cow and phy managed to get one that's beside the window! which is of course a good seat. but nehnehpok and me? we had to seat at one of those LONG LONG tables.

    but nevermind, seats are not the main point in this situation. so we studied. but nehnehpok kind of got restless. LoL! followed by me cause i was affected by her and my stomach!! haha! i hunger easily. at that time, it was around 11.20am. then i looked at cow and saw that she was grabbing her tummy. so i mouthed to her if she was hungry and WOOTS!! we all are!! LoL! only phy very steady. admire her ability to concentrate. haha. so we waited for around 10 minutes then we headed down to the nearest KFC!!! so LOVE KFC! had a fun lunch. LoL! cause i ate CRISPY CHICKEN!! haha. was taunting cow with the chicken. LoLs. and the people sitting beside us, one of them is a terrible singer. haha. so there were we enjoying the music and suddenly, it was interrupted by some strange sound from outerspace.

    after lunch, phy and cow headed back to the library first while nehneh and i decided to go take neoprints. haha. if you see those pictures you'd be like ---> o_olll
    haha. but we had fun. then went walking around searching for my hair accessories. i kept thinking if i should get a haircut. apparently, i didn't have to decide cause this woman on the street approached and asked if i wanted a FREE haircut. LoL. turns out, the woman is from Toni&Guy accademy. note the word "accademy". at first i thought she was qutie professional from the way she explained about the way she wantED to cut my hair. then i thought, maybe it'll be fine. but later on? the real professional hairstylist, roy, came over and asked what hair will i be given. the woman explained but he disagreed *breathesasighofrelief*. roy then instructed the style of hair to give me and we're off. baah!! but the haircut took so long and sadly to say, the woman can't control her scissors. my poor head. and poor nehnehpok was waiting so long. the haircut took MORE THAN ONE HOUR AND A HALF!! gosh. it's the longest haircut i've had in my entire 16years of life. and even more unfortunately, the woman has no sense of style and didn't managed to style my hair properly. so having wanted to escape, i said it was ok. nehnehpok and i quickly got out of the place and i was pressing down my hair. LoL.

    well, the haircut was ok i guess. my hair's all neat now. but i won't let my hair be touched by a trainee anymore. next time, i might consider getting a haircut at Toni&Guy cause the professional hairstylist are really superb. judging from the trims roy gave me, the way he taught the trainees, really impressed me.

    ok, we got back to the library and continued studying. laoren came to meet me and the rest left soon after. i'm so happy!! i completed all my additional mathematics syllabus!! well, except all the differentiation topics and some kinematics. haha. then study till 7pm and went for dinner. after dinner we headed home. haha. i called my mom to see if my dad could fetch me along the way and HOORAH!

    so yea, that's all!

    for today, supposed to go some field in tampines but i have absolutely NO IDEA where it is!! and being a secondary four, you have the tendacy to can't be bothered to attend such useless activities. LoL. so as yunzhi put it, we are "sick" so we can't go school aye? LoL! sad. miss out on all the fun where people crawl on their hands and perspire and look like fools. haha.

    ok, i blabber too much. till the next post!!



    -LeeUuZ


    11:04 AM


    Monday, August 28, 2006

    OH KAAY!!! this week will be the most fruitful week!! know why??

    NOT MUCH OF SCHOOL!!

    yea. so i'm kind of free nowadays. well, the reason why it'd be more fruitful is due to the lack of useless teachers like NgPuehKim and SallyLai to PMS at us! well, NPK is so used to scolding us now that it would be a miracle for her not to do so. furthermore, she scolded our class most MOST utterly good natured and demure lady ---> Xin Ni!! (qh, happy a not?? xD) so yea. thanks. even Xin Ni gets scolded, which means we'll be slaughtered!! BWAHAHAHAHA!! ok, i'm sorry for being all high.

    BECAUSE!! today, we had class phototaking!! FINALLY. it's been rescheduled again and again. well, we sure had a lot of fun today. no one was in a studying mood right after the math test. OH YEA, math test. i think i can be considered lucky if i could get just ONE mark. right ninny? but back to the point, we could not study!! first lesson was physics which equals? boring. hey!! i managed to finish my english composition during that time! so it wasn't that of a waste! guess what!! after physics was chemistry. whoa. Mrs Lam scammed us as usual. suddenly scaring us by EXCLAIMING, "take out your foolscap paper we're going to have a TEST!" thanks. in the end, we wasted a tree.

    well, by then i was already SOOOO hungry!! my stomach wouldn't shut up! LoLs! so i happily went for recess and queueing up for my noodles!! UNFORTUNATELY, we were summoned when i neared the counter and have to leave my noodles. boo.

    so we started. ties here and there. people walking past us were staring! LoL. 4E, people make a difference, WE ARE THE DIFFERENT! heh. cool aye? cheers!! so we took ALOT of pictures. well, not that much. the photographer just kept snapping. thank you thank you!! i know i'm a born model!! BAHAHA!! just kidding!!

    so the lessons in between? i remember taking somemore photos with ninny's beanie and stuff. oh!! the girls and black helped Mrs Lam pack the fruits for Teachers' Day. haha. the fruits look so delicious!! there were prunes, longans, pears, cherries and rambutans!! well, if you see me typing about such stuff, think you should realised that i've eaten them!! haha! well, we all did. the prunes were delicious!!

    after school, it was back to more phototaking!! with Ms Kartini too!! had loads of fun again!!

    well, any 4Eediots who stumbles upon my blog and SEES THIS!! please remind me to send you guys the pictures alright? xD



    -LeeUuZ


    10:52 PM


    Thursday, August 24, 2006

    bahh!! i'm so wasting my time. anyway, prelims are drawing extremely near and we're left with less than three weeks. well, i'm studying. wait, shouldn't i be still in school at this time? nah! today the secondary fours have prelim practical exams. thus, those who have no practical today will enjoy a FREE DAY!! yes, i'm currently at home studying. WHOA, i said studying instead of slacking aye?

    but it's real sickening to be studying at home by yourself. i don't mean i don't like studying by myself, but really!! i need someone smarter than me to be around. like for instance, i've been studying math for the past one hour plus and where have i got to? question TWO! of VECTORS!! goodness, i didn't expect myself to be THAT dense. vectors' like one of the easier chapters in the whole of the secondary four syllabus! and i'm taking that much time to complete like TWO problems!! sigh. how am i going to take my prelims?

    nevermind, i'll move on to another subject before returning to math. something like english. yes!! that is just another lame excuse for blogging xD. so yeah, noticed that my posts are all written with proper spelling. but my grammer and lack of vocabulary is making me very irritated right now. but it's ok, i'll work harder on it i guess.

    well about my life, i seriously have no idea what's going on. but one thing i'm certain is that people around me still practise "assumption". why do people always assume? why can't they just ask? it's really sickening that others can just keep the thing from you and just ASSUME that you already knew? sigh. i really don't like to blog about stuff like this but i just need somewhere to vent it all out.

    so i heard from this person, ^^, about some people organising an outing. ^^ asked me so that ^^ can confirmed that we (those people who haven't heard about the outing) knew. well, apparently i didn't! so both of us were like, "ok... something's not right...." so i asked ^^ who said that we all "knew" and found out it was this person, @. well, this @ person was supposed to ask the rest of us if we would like an outing. well, that didn't happen. and basically. @ told ^^ that we all agreed. thanks alot. didn't know that @ knew us so well.

    i wish people wouldn't make decisions by themselves. it's really disgusting and the party affected would be like WTH??!! when did that happen? why wasn't i informed?? then those people would be like, "huh? i thought we told you a long time ago?" yea sure. i bet it's sure a LONG LONG LONG time ago that WE FORGOT.

    well, this process has a name. it's called LEAVING OTHERS OUT. how does it go?

    1. some event is planned
    2. organisers are asked to inform the rest
    3. organisers CHOOSE who to invite
    4. organisers ASSUME those uninvited won't come either
    5. organisers gather again to confirm the number coming
    6. organisers ASSUME everyone is well-informed
    7. organisers go on with the event
    8. uninvited found out about the event
    9. uninvited confronts organisers
    10. organisers act innocent and give a lame excuse
    11. the next event will be a repeat

    see? there's this cycle. society is designed this way so "people" can have fun with their "friends". also, it keeps the "spoilers" away from the fun. all the so-called this and that. then people would call this a BIG gathering when it's actually a CLIQUE gathering. a place when all the gossips and making-fun-out-of-that-idiot-that-we-met-that-day are happening.

    frankly speaking, i don't even know if blogging this stuff down will do any good. i don't even know if @ and gang will visit my blog or not. even if they did, they can't be bothered.

    baah!! whatever, i'll go back to studying now.

    living in a world where time stops and everything becomes clear.

    -LeeUuZ


    2:20 PM


    Tuesday, August 22, 2006

    look. at. my. title. some people may be thinking that math has gotten into my head. well, not really. not to THAT extend yet. anyway, you guys have any ideas how a sine graph look like? well, if you are taking 'O's this year and you still have no idea about what's that, think you better start mugging REAL hard now. anyway, that's crap. the point is, a sine graph is when a curve starts from the origin and forms a hump above the X-axis which that forms another curve below the X-axis. this process goes up and down and up again and down again.

    well basically, i've just started to continue reading the Life On The Edge book. well apparently, it was so timely for me to do so. i guess God tries His best to get me back on track. so yea, the topic on which i continued from where i last left off was about Emotions. yes, emotions. but what has emotions got to do with our relationship with God? well, everything. ok, picture yourself being really happy and stuff. everything's going well and you feel great. life is so ever wonderful that you have nothing to complain about. then when all this stuff gets all good, suddenly, you find yourself struggling to hold on to everything you have. suddenly, you seemed to be losing everything!! your stuff, your cool, your temper? and everywhere you go, you'll be stepping on some kind of excrement. LoL. well, that's an up and down for you.

    well basically, if our relationship with God is unstable, it'll be like the sine graph. apparently, if you can't control your emotions, it just goes to show that you're (i'm) not mature enough. anyway, take a look at this verse.

    But the fruit of the Spirit is love, Joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance; against such there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV)

    notice the word temperance? it means self-control in NKJV. yes, self-control is very important. be it whether you're controlling your emotions or your behaviour.

    so yea, back to the main point. if our relationship with God is like a sine graph, it shows that we lack self-control. because the main point of having a relationship with God is not about feeling all hyped up about the Father in Heaven. but instead!! choose to rely on His word rather than His presence all the time. doesn't mean that if you can't feel God means He's not there aye? it's the same concept with stars. it doesn't mean that if you don't see stars in the morning means that they're non-existant right?

    therefore, all who are feeling lost should search for comfort in His word.

    yea right, easy for me to say. sigh. sadly, i wish i could do what i've stated here. but,

    I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!!!??!!!



    -LeeUuZ


    11:45 PM


    Monday, August 21, 2006

    Every point of view has another angle
    And every angle has its merit
    But all comes down to faith
    Thats the way i see it

    You can say that love is not divine and
    You can say that life is not eternal
    "All we have is know"
    But I don't believe it

    There's a God-shaped hole in all of us
    And the restless soul is searching
    There's a God-shaped hole in all of us
    And it's a void only he can fill

    Does the world seem gray with empty longing
    Wearing every shade of cynical
    And do you ever feel that
    There is something missing?

    That's my point of view... Yeah

    ------------------------------------------

    i'm lost. that hole in my heart that only God can fill is not filled. i guess i've been in self-denial quite some time already. only that i kept trying to hold on as hard as possible. i just realised that i'm really losing faith. i don't want to but somehow, my faith just keeps wavering everyday. and guess what? i think i was already in self-denial for two months. my heart hurts so deeply that sometimes i cry for no reason at all. and finally today, i'm able to step out from this illusion. not that it's a good thing but at least, i know that something is wrong.

    well, the song above kind of describes how i feel, well not exactly. the song is quite positive, i'm negative. the world for me now is really some sort of grayish and stuff. and i'm longing for something which i don't know what. well, my soul is searching for God but i'm not. i guess that's the reason why i'm in such a dilemma.

    when i look back, i noticed my yearning for God has deteriorated. where did that eager God-chaser went to? well, don't ask me. i was in self-denial for quite some time and have not been tracking my spiritual growth. how i feel now is like stuck in between two walls. i can't move out from the walls cause something's out there that'll harm me while i can't move forward through the walls cause it gets tighter. how??

    and somehow, i don't seem to be depressed about it. just a little unfeeling and cold. and right now, i feel really empty.

    well, through this journey of self-denial, there were times when God really touched me. i was so happy but then? it only lasted awhile. and i don't know where that Big Daddy who has been holding onto my hand went. so on and off, i was found and lost again. maybe i was never found? i don't know.

    well basically, i connect the most with God through music as it's a very big part of my life. and God spoke clearer to me through music than through sermons or whatever. but the church YFM's not helping. all day long, they sing songs of praise, of how wonderous our God is. i mean, yea He is! but what happened to those times when He picked us up and healed our spirit?

    what i need now most is a powerful worship. not just songs, but i need a full powerful worship. in which God will speak to me and relate to me in any way of my life. i need that. just once and i know i'll be fine. God help me?



    -LeeUuZ


    11:33 PM


    Saturday, August 19, 2006

    didn't get to blog on friday's event cause i reached home near midnight. so i couldn't do much plus! i had to find the lyrics for the outreaching programme. sad aye? doesn't matter, i'm going to tell you guys about friday now.

    well, basically friday was like any other day of the week. but something to be happy about was that it was the last of the Supervised Self Study! somehow, i don't seem as happy as i should be. guess it's due to the fact that i'll be more relax now makes me worried. SSS did me some good, really. it was the time i was most productive in my studies. yup! especially you have teachers like Mr. Chan there to help you with math. not to mention some friends that you could ask questions and stuff. well, that's not the main part about friday anyway.

    after SSS, i went to yunzhi's house. why?? we were attending this Garage concert at the Geylang Evangelism Church (i think). erm, you guys heard about SYFC? it's Singapore Youth For Christ. they organised an event in which they invited Carpenter's Tools International to play music and interact with us. well, the CTI went to AHS on wednesday for expression. and i must say, they are really good. especially Kyle, the lead singer, he could actually sing 童话!! so yea, many of the girls in school was qutie attracted to this handsome singing chap. well, i wasn't really very excited about them. cause i thought that CTI, especially Kyle, would be kind of full of themselves and stuff. but i was proven wrong during the Garage concert. so there i was with yunzhi looking around. Lydia, someone we know from SYFC, suddenly dragged us to Kyle!! LoL. well, it was kind of awkward i guess. but we kind of started talking about loads of stuff. and well, it felt really nice. we got introduced to Nan, bassman, along the way. so we took some pictures and Kyle went off to prepare for the concert. so by that time, other people from our group arrived so we were quite excited about the concert.

    so the concert was opened by the local band which was also really brilliant. both the lead male and female singers had really good voices!! the lead female singer was really pretty too. haha xD. so after that, CTI came up and danced We're All In This Together like shown in High School Musical. Brooke, the lead female singer, danced really well! did i mention we were sitting right at the front? so like, me and huiyi (4C) had to keep smiling at them. LoL! then we were invited to dance with them too. haha. well, attempted to be enthusiastic about it but well, no one accompanied me. haha. so after the dance, they sang songs and of course 童话 again!! this time, Kyle jumped off the stage and suddenly, KNELT infront of me while singing!! it was so awkward!! then to my horror, i saw the camera man taking a shot so i kind of looked away. LoL! i'm shy. but after all that, the best part was that each band member was to sit with a table and eat dinner with them. also, the table had to teach the CTI members how to speak chinese since like they are from the States. and, if we taught them well, we could win a prize. so, to yunzhi's joy, Brad the keyboardist came to sit with us! he's so friendly! so we taught him chinese and talked to him. then they had to go back to the stage to have that "chinese lesson speaking competition". LoL! too bad Brad didn't win, but we still had loads of fun. Brad kind of became 面包 cause you know, Brad and bread? haha.

    so yea, around like dessert time, Brad came back to our table and shared his testimony to us. i was quite inspired by his testimony. he told us he used to be heavy on drugs. and the thing is, he didnt' know anything about the Gospel till like 18! but well, he's a probation officer now. in case you don't know what's that, Brad is those kind of police who goes around watching kids that were caught doing bad stuff. these kids will be placed on probation and Brad would go visit them as much as he likes to make sure they don't make the same mistake again. cool aye? like he was inspired by he's younger days.

    then like after the concert, we stayed back and talked somemore with the CTI people. turns out, our group was the last one left!! Jason, soundman, was kind of high that night and was going around harassing some people. haha. yunzhi, huiyi, serene and me were left talking to Kyle. zhilin was running away from Jason and at the same time talking to Brad and Nan with jun and swanyee. Kyle told us a love story while i think it was either Brooke or Gechien that taught the other half sign language. all in all, we had a terrific time together and exchanged contacts. Brad being real nice and all took all our emails down and promised to keep us in touch.

    so we left at about eleven cause we were nagged off by the SYFC people. LoL!! kept saying that CTI has a concert the next day and blah blah blah. haha. yea we understand. cool right? it kind of ended up being a get to know more friends day. it was real sweet and stuff the way they said they'll keep in contact. so we said goodbye reluctantly and went home.

    wasn't that awesome??

    anyway, as for today, had to go church in the morning for meeting. then as usual we had cell then service. i was really tired as i slept at 2am!!! gosh. luckily, i didn't sleep during sermon. hahaha. then after church, i met up with my family for dinner. well, it was a treat from my mom's colleagues as they striked 4D. also, met up with those long-time-no-see friends my brother and i knew since like we were born. had a real good time. you all should've seen what i was eating man. it was like heaven. hahahahaha.

    ok, i'm tired from all that typing. i'll go bathe now. oops =x!



    -LeeUuZ


    11:06 PM


    Thursday, August 17, 2006

    yesterday, i discovered this absolutely-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad thing in school! guess what? you know the overhanging electronic board in the canteen? well, you know what's on it??!!

    25 DAYS LEFT TO PRELIMS

    O.M.GOSH. the school is out to do us in. apart from all that physical torture they are making us go through by mugging and mugging, they're torturing us mentally now. thanks. we KNOW that already in case you haven't noticed. sigh.

    anyway, today had 'O' level oral. i think we were pretty lucky cause the picture and questions are really quite simple. furthermore, the passage didn't have any words which were difficult to pronounce. but unfortuantely for me, i always stumble at reading due to my poor short short tongue. haha. hopefully i made up for that part with my picture and conversation.

    so like after oral, i met up with MRS C.J.S and ninny to study in the counselling centre's library. well, we were studying at first. but we kind of got bored so MRS C.J.S and ninny started to write out what they were studying on the whiteboard. so me and ninny finally resorted to teaching MRS C.J.S organic chemistry. LoL! i actually could teach aye? hopefully i taught it correctly cause i don't want her grades to be affected by what i teach. haha. so considerate right? so yea. i guess my organic chemistry is pretty much ready for 'O's already, just need a little more familiarizing. but i think the secondary three stuff i learnt was crap!! how? cause i couldn't remember much of them!! LoL!! so yea, more mugging aye?

    alright, i'll be off now. but before i go, i would like to add!!

    HeroOnline is SSOOO FUN!! haha. you guys should try it. but the game kind of lags the whole computer due to its graphics. LoL.

    seeya!!



    -LeeUuZ


    10:39 PM


    Monday, August 14, 2006

    ok people, i'm left with TWENTY-SEVEN days to PRELIMS!! that's kind of fast. well, actually if we count the prelim practicals which are like next week, it really shows how much time passes. it's been such a long time since i've never heard words like "prelims" and "O levels". and it's just yesterday when i was jsut entering AHS. cool aye? haha.

    anyway, though i'm in my secondary four year, church activities are still going on. well, it isn't too much that i can't handle. LoL! but honestly speaking, i haven't been giving follow-up to my girls. uh-oh. haha. sorry girls!! i'm quite busy this year. i'll get back to you girls once i finish my 'O' levels ok?? promise!! so yeah, back to the point. i'm like listening to some really old songs! LoL!! why?? don't ask. it's not for myself anyway. but well, some songs are really really nostalgic. xD

    school's been fine so far. but i need to work harder on my math, seriously. Mr Chan told me i flunked the integration test. well, i wasn't prepared for the test anyway. but i studied quite a bit for integration today and i'm getting it. so i asked Mr Chan if i could redo the paper but not counting the marks. he agreed. think up till this point of the year, what good are grades?? unless they're for 'O's. it's better that you know your stuff but not getting a good grade on the subject. i don't mean we shouldn't score for tests ok!!?? it'll be better if we can score during tests so that we can keep track of our studies. guess there are good and bad for each option. LoL!

    OPTIONS OPTIONS!! well, i'm making loads of those now. be it which chapter to study for, which school to go, what course to take. LOADS of those. and there'll be more when i grow older. it's kind of sickening to keep having to decide stuff. guess i'm not really for the decision-making type of person. i'm more of the you-tell-me-what-to-do-and-i'll-get-it-done type. but well, if you put me in a situation that really requires me to be a decision maker, then at least tell me the objective of the thus so it'll make my life easier. LoL!! i'm such a slacker aye?

    aaahhh!! i'm so random!! from the top till this point of the post, they make no sense or whatsoever to each other!! haha. guess this happens when your mind is occupied with so many stuff. haha. hope i'll get use to it, and hopefully correct it. yup. don't want to spam nonsense on my post right?? later you readers give me this face --->

    -.-

    that'll be fun aye? LoL!! maybe i can add cold jokes to each post and freeze you guys!! haha. erm, then again, guess not.

    alright, i shall get back to what i'm doing. oh by the way, i'll be late for school again!! having physiotherapy in the morning. aww, sad aye? xD



    -LeeUuZ


    11:23 PM


    Saturday, August 12, 2006

    GOD IS GOOD!
    ALL THE TIME!!
    and ALL THE TIME?
    GOD IS GOOD!!!

    something good has happened to me today!! yeah. i'll elaborate.
    though it was all tests and tests in the morning, i had the first good news. my O'Level chinese got and A2 and D! D for Distinction in oral!! cool aye? even though it wasn't like A1 or something, but i still give thanks. especially for my oral, maybe it's due to the leniency of the examiners. most of the people from my block got Ds!! yeah. it was pure luck or what i call GOD'S GRACE. and probably due to my oral, it made up for my paperwork. cause i felt that i didn't do too well for the comprehension and letter writing. well anyway, PRAISE GOD AMEN!!

    the next good news? well, i managed to go Streams Of Praise. it was magical. it really was. God really spoke to me through those songs and i felt really touched! think those who went would agree. xD for me, it was such a refreshing experience. i felt alive again in God. honestly speaking, i've been backsliding during the past week. i stopped my QT and i really doubt God's powers. well, proves that i've been such a fool!! but God never left me!! He kept coming at me again and again till i went back to him during the worship. even now as i'm typing this post, i can feel God holding onto my hand and has never let go. so i cast my burdens onto God. stuff like my exams and also my dear family. and i say, God sure answers quickly when you trust in Him.

    so well, after Streams Of Praise, i went home of course. when i stepped into the computer room, i saw my little brother watching some videos which shows what some songs really mean when they're played backwards. i was a little surprised that he was looking through all those stuff! but suddenly, i felt God's presence so strongly. it seemed that there was something to be done tonight. so i watched those "hell bells" with him. then i explained to him that the reason behind all these songs. it's because the satan fears God so much that he has to resort to such trickery to trap humans in such temptations and sins. so my little brother was slightly more aware to the songs he was listening to all these times. so like i didn't think much. but inside me, i felt God stirring something up. so when i went to bathe, i somehow thought to myself if i was brave enough to approach my little brother and pray for him. then when i finished praying, i went into our room and prayed in my heart for God's peace to be on him. then!! my little brother suddenly said something, can't remember what, but the fact was that he was still awake. apparently, he was quite disturbed. i mean, who wouldn't? unless you're so indulged in such satanic songs that it doesn't matter to you. so this time, with more assurance, i asked him, "do you need me to pray for you?" he didn't comment much. just a simple, "don't know." then, i felt God saying, "my child, just go for it! go on!! i'll be here with you." so i went and prayed for him. then after that, i placed the Don Moen's CD in our music player in the room. and hopefully, when he listens to it, he'll be more comforted in God's promises.

    so people, i just want to say this. i regret for not reaching out more for my little brother earlier. i regretted that i didn't trust God during those times. but now, i'm more assured and more confident in God! Praise God!! so yeah. pray for me to continue being a blessing to my family. and pray for more opened hearts in my family!! if anyone needs a prayer, i'll be always here!!

    the best thing about receiving God's Grace, is passing it on!!

    ok, it's late. i'll go check on my little brother soon again. GOOD NIGHT AND OF COURSE!!
    GOD BLESS!!



    -LeeUuZ


    12:29 AM


    Thursday, August 10, 2006

    wow, it's like how long since the last time i'd blogged at this time? LoL. cool eh? know why? cause it's a HOLIDAY!!

    well, about the 2.4km run, i guess i'm kind of "cursed" with the number four! why? because.......

    secondary one - fourth!
    secondary two - forty-fourth!
    secondary three - fourth!
    secondary four - forty-fourth!

    see what i mean? and it sounds so superstitious! LoLs.
    anyway, guess being able to complete the run was the best i could do. when i started running, i felt something funny at my sides. but i ignored and continued. then before i even reached the first station, i had stitch! fun aye? lols. i was struggling alot mentally during the whole run. i knew i could finish it but if i stopped, i knew i'd probably give up. fortunately for me, being mentally stubborn is in my genes. so i forced myself to complete the run even though i was clutching my sides. yowch. sadly, the run wasn't as relaxed as i thought out to be. more of painful! LoLs. MRS C.J.S. don't heart pain k? haha.

    then i went for physio. well, my doc wasn't around so another doc took charge of me. apparently, that doc found out i was running and was quite stern with me. LoLs. well, you can't stop me from being active when i want to. xD so in the end? i didn't do any exercises. just did ultrasound therapy. in case you don't know what's that, the process is almost like scanning a pregnant lady's stomach to look at her baby. so like, the doc applied some gel and rubbed my knee with some machine thingy. LoLs. then we were kind of bored and started talking a little. A LITTLE only cause i'm shy. xD so anyway, the doc asked, "want to consider being a physiotherapist when you get older?" i was like, "erm, haha. see how." lols.
    then after my physio, i went to cass's. quite cool. haha. then we went to study afterwards. and took some neoprints too!! haha.

    then on national day, i woke up at like 12pm. groggy and all, i realised i had tuition!! boring. the teacher moved it down so that we could enjoy the NDP in the evening. tuition was quite slack today. we ate, drank, did some work, and watched russell peters. haha. can't believe some people still don't know about RP. deprived. haha.

    at night? well, supposed to meet Strangers No More group to watch fireworks, but in the end my family wanted to go out. so like i had to go with the family instead. shall not elaborate on what happened.

    ok, it's real late. will be crawling towards my bed now.



    -LeeUuZ


    1:04 AM


    Monday, August 07, 2006

    sigh. i'm kind of disappointed with my dad. after so many years, he thinks that i'm some weakling trying hard at sports but always failing. like he doesn't know me well enough.

    i mean, come on! i bring home medals and trophies like every year since primary school. what are those? even if i didn't tell him that i won those, he could at least find out by looking at my prized possessions. somehow, my dad seems to be always missing out on my life. maybe it's cause i've never really tried to open up more to him. but hey! i remembered when i was really young, we were so close! i remember i used to run into his arms whenever he came home each evening. a memory which i found heart-warming but somehow, painful. now? it's like i won't even react when he comes home. even when he tries to strike a conversation, i'd end it so quickly.

    looking back, maybe it was better that i ended the conversation cause we always ended up with a spite contest. each trying to prove the other wrong. well, i'm usually right as my dad tries to act as a know-it-all. sigh. i'm really tired trying to say stuff to him that i even find keeping silent might even close up our relationship!

    anyway, back on the point. my dad thinks i can't run. thinks i'm lousy at tabletennis. well, i can't say i'm really good at both but heck! i did actually get fourth for secondary three girls for the school's annual cross country. and i'm singles for my team! so i can't be all that lousy am i? well, another person who thinks that i'm not up to standard in tabletennis is my uncle. the one who's a coach. well, he was saying how good elizabeth (no offense)from PLMGSS was. well, i won her didn't i? fair and square. in a national match. infront of many witnesses. well, except him. sigh.

    oh yeah. tomorrow's 2.4km run. yes, the annual cross country again. guess this year i can't do well. my stamina dropped and my knee isn't getting any better. maybe i consider just getting an A borderline. then after the run, i have to go off immediately as i have physio at 9am!! maybe the reason my knee isn't recovering is because i'm too active. haha. well, blame's on me!

    so yeah, wish me luck aye? to get that A. and also that my knee won't give up on me tomorrow! LoL! touchwood! xD



    -LeeUuZ


    11:06 PM


    Sunday, August 06, 2006

    sigh. i think i failed my piano exam. that's really sad. i went in all nervous. the examiner looked so scary. he's this HUGE aussie guy. and he seemed rather impatient like he wanted to get the exam over and done with. in the end, i did loads of stuff wrongly. sad........

    anyway, i went FOP two times! one on friday and one on saturday! i totally love Don Moen. he is such a talented musician!! furthermore, he's like one of the best worship leader in the world!! what do ya think of that?? he played the piano so well!! and guess what??!! he plays the violin too!! aaahhh!! honestly, i'm quite inspired by him to play in YFM. really! and i was thinking someday, i want to be just like Don Moen. worshipping God with all my heart and my best. *dreams*

    well, church on saturday was weird. they talked about "lianAI-ing". be it BGR or courtship. well, it was fun hearing the older ones talked about their past relationships be it successes or failures. but somehow or rather, i didn't quite feel comfortable in the whole situation. especially when the girls and guys were asked to go to separate rooms to have the leaders talked to us privately. and one of the leaders, seemed to be targetting a certain people. sigh. i shan't elaborate on it. it pains me to see such things happening. well, it's all a process.

    sometimes i wonder what type of character does a leader require. i mean, they have to be of a certain standard for God to have placed these leaders in their positions to lead and guide us. even if they're not doing their best, those that are under these leaders should still be submissive to them i guess. and really, we don't have much right to question God's choice aye? sigh. how i wish that i can be ignorant to all the stuff that's happening around me and just lead my simple life. but why?? why do these things have to just, just be there?! just, there! HERE even. i'm tremendously sick and tired of hearing such things over and over again. furthermore, i'm sick of watching reality replaying right infront of my eyes over and over and OVER again! doubts that i do not want to confirm kept throwing facts into my eyes. i see them!! and i can't do anything about it. suddenly, my feelings are just so stirred up that i want to confront these foolishness!! bah!! i don't want to judge!! i really don't want to. it's wrong and it's not helping anyone.

    sigh, and people keep giving excuses when they judge. going like, "it's not my fault that i judge, i'm not Jesus. i'm not God. i'm only human. that's why i sin. so i will just keep praying that God keep me away from such ridiculous temptations." like I DON'T CARE! i did wrong, you did wrong. we all did wrong. so? STOP DOING IT! what's the point of sinning and asking for forgiveness repeatedly??!! you know you shouldn't do such things then DON'T!! it's so ironic. like, "i know smoking is not good for me but i still try it. then i'll try to get rid of the addiction afterwards."

    GET MY BLOODY POINT?

    ok, calm down. don't get overboard. breathe in... and out... count to ten. heck.
    bye.



    -LeeUuZ


    5:52 PM


    Thursday, August 03, 2006

    *practisingpractisingpractisingpractisingpractising*

    yes liuying what are you doing? PRACTISING MY PIANO! duh.
    it's so fast!! the exam's tomorrow!! just, TOMORROW!! and i think i can't make it. i'm not confident about my playing at all!! none!! zilch! how? i'll be practising through the night i guess. no matter who i'll be disturbing and all, i DON'T care! it's just one night!! ONE!! for my pathetic exam tomorrow which i must, i repeat MUST pass!! it's the lowest expectation i can give for myself. i usually aim for merit and above but this time, i think i'll pass.

    well, today has been a blur i guess. really tired. had health check today and i found out, I'M HEALTHY!! woots!! like i didn't know that. haha. it should've been on chemistry period!!! Mrs Lam can't teach. seriously. and i've never learnt a single thing from her lessons except that she loves telling us stories. BAH!

    ok, MRS C.J.S. ACCIDENTALLY typed too fast and refered me as "looloo" to Mr Peh. so what's happening now??

    in the computer lab...
    Ben: *mouths*looloo!
    Me: *shock* WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?!
    Ben: *whispers*looloo!
    Me: *stares*
    Ben: did you hear me or not?
    Me: yeah duh. you called me looloo!?!?!
    Ben: LOOLOO!!

    ok......... i'm stuck with it i guess. hopefully he'll get tired of calling me that. i'd prefer if he just went "Xiao Eh". being called "looloo" by him is just, JUST WRONG!! ugh. well, i've got loads of nicknames in 4E this year. first was monkey. then somehow kenny got tired with it and found a translation for monkey which is - marlow. thanks. then MRS C.J.S. started calling me looloo which led on to ben calling me that too. ninny's calling me ninny. sometimes lulu too. sighs....

    ok, it's 11.01pm now. got to go practise!!
    byebye!! wish me luck!!

    music is something i can do well = no failing

    -LeeUuZ


    11:02 PM


    Tuesday, August 01, 2006

    today!! is a slack day for me i guess. when i usually wake up at 6.30am, i woke at 8am today!! why why?! i had physiotherapy appointment!! haha. so i happily went for my appointment. but the trip was real weird. people were staring at me like i was some kind of delinquent. LoL!

    so yeah. went for physio. the doctor in-charge of me was really friendly. i like her. haha. anyway, she explained that my knee has two problems. the first was with the ACL (ligament). seems like i had a slight tear which caused my thigh muscles to ache and all. the second was the injury at my meniscus which often causes me to lose my balance. she showed it to me by asking me to first balance on my good knee (right). i did so without any difficulty even when i was told to close my eyes! then it came to the left knee. before i even shut my eyes, i felt it wobbling under my weight. gosh. then when i finally closed my eyes, i became off balanced and almost fell. phew! see!! i can't balance! and finally!! she's one of the only few non-tabletennis player who understands that lunges ARE REQUIRED during a tabletennis match! cool aye? so as i still had to GO BACK TO SCHOOL, she just showed me some simple exercises which can help improve my balance. then i had heat therapy which was SO COMFORTABLE! i just sit there do nothing and enjoy the warm sensation at my knee. haha.

    after the whole session, went back to school and reached around 10-15minutes after first recess. so i was left with THREE periods! ok. school day was too short!! TOO SHORT!! so i decided to go remedial to make-up for it! xD then went home with MRS C.J.S. but stopped in galilee to study.

    yup, then since i've been home, i've been watching anime till now!! sick aye? xD

    and i noticed a sudden leap in my counter. that's kind of scary. i know that the first 30 counts were like created by me and my little brother cause we wanted to see how it worked. LoL! then the rest was contributed by regulars who TAG. the rest, i'm not too sure. but anyway, just hope that you guys will tag too. an act of courtesy? xD

    ohya! here's something for you people to ponder about:

    rather than regret not trying, won't you rather just do it then regret later?

    of course you don't just act rashly and all. PONDER, WONDER, take your time to decide then just do it. as long as you don't give up so easily aye? yup. that's all i wanted you guys to know.

    k, i got to go sleep already! i have to go to school USUAL TIME tomorrow.



    -LeeUuZ


    11:45 PM