i am becoming more and more unlike me. i remember i used to be so enthusiastic about meeting new opponents and trying to score as much as i can in every game. the fierce fighting spirit, the sheer joy i found in the excitement of winning stronger opponents never fail to put a grin onto my face. competitiveness is something that i've lost a long time ago. i guess it was since the day i decided to join canoing instead of tabletennis in tpjc was the day that it had gone. sadly to say, i haven't really realized it till recently. i guess when i decided to join canoing, it was more of a getting-myself-tanned-and-fit rather than i'm-going-to-be-the-swiftest-on-water kind of thing. hence my competitive spirit being so misplaced and neglected that it sort of "ran away".

and it has left me behind. it sucks. i admit i'm a person who loves the thrill of winning. the psyched moment when you know you're doing your best and you know that you're going to nail it. confident that even if one set was lost, i'd catch up with another three. i miss that me.

i'm reflecting more and more and i do realise i tend to make stupid excuses more often. not to cover up for my losses, but to shield myself from the old me who despises the kind i am right now. turns out, it makes everything worser than it already was. boohoo LeeUuZ, boohoo.

i want to tear myself from this current me and find back the good old me. after all, i used to win gloriously and lose with dignity. now? my losses are ugly and my wins are simply pitiful. and tabletennis is not the only thing that've been affected so far. i won't go into details for this post is emo enough.

whatever happened to the "i aim to be one of the top players in singapore"? LeeUuZ you suck!



-LeeUuZ

♥ 12:42 AM

bleh, EPL has lost it's meaning already. basically, i'm not really a fan of Chelsea FC until LL introduced me to Jose Mourinho! and i must say, it's because of this handsome old guy that i support Chelsea. haha. sadly, he's gone now and well, Grant just suck. haha. Chelsea seemed to have lost their confidence on the field. last night was a prove of how much Chelsea needed Mourinho. Chelsea was never an offensive team, rather a more tactical and defensive team. possession of the ball didn't matter as long as they scored whenever there was a chance ball. however last night, the game was so one-sided that it was so obvious that puipui team would win. and all Grant could do was to look remorse after the two goals scored by the opposing team. sigh! JOSE MOURINHO!! COME BACK!!

here's his handsome picture by the way when he finally shaved his head! haha.
























the SPECIAL ONE! (:

ok, i'm still at work. nothing to do for the time being. but i was typing non-stop the whole morning. this break should be well-deserved alright? haha. unlike a certain someone who slept through the whole morning who CLAIMS that the school cancelled all the classes. haha. ohwell!

last night i went to my cousin's wedding. she's SO PRETTY!! haha. food was ok. love the appetizer - lobster salad! haha. and the drunkard prawns in the middle. the rest of the food is just average. basically, the wedding dinner was pretty simple. not a lot of tables too. kind of prefer it this way. mom was blabbering away to bro and i but we weren't really listening. anyway, i wore this white dress that LL picked for me. haha. love it. (: oh! there was the biscuit necklace too. you know khong guan biscuit?? those light brown ones with stuffings in the middle? yeah, the necklace is just like that. it looks and feels real that bro and i was tempted to eat it. haha. looks delicious. had red wine during the wedding and regret after that. not that i get drunk that easily. it's just that the alcohol in it seemed a bit strong and i was like having a fever. the after effect was headache. bahh, should've go find out what red wine was it so i can avoid the next time.

being heavy-headed and all, i still went to find LL to watch soccer last night. haha. bandung helps the headache a little. lying in his arms helps even more. hee. (:

and i realised i'm going church lesser and lesser. it's not that i don't want to go or what. sometimes i'm just too tired, or i'm working. but i'll still try to make it for service during the saturdays. cell wise, i just feel a little out of place. what i'm going through is so different from the rest of my cell mates. all of them have school, be it jc or poly. i don't. they have exams, i don't. they have fun school activities, i don't. all these just makes me a little odd being in the same cell. furthermore, missing out on cell for so many times, i just feel drifted from the rest. and working just pushes me to grow up faster. not that i'm more mature or what. my thinking just becomes more practical. i get frustrated at little things easily too. lack of efficiency just makes me irritated. sorry to worry those who care about me from DISCUs. sorry to those who don't even care too. sigh. sometimes, trying to catch up with my cell mates are a little tiring. sad but true yes. but i still love catching up with my close friends. haha. some of which are from the cell too. (:

ok, i think i should get my butt back to work. bye bye!
JC people, good luck for promos!



-LeeUuZ

♥ 3:11 PM

watched Secret already. nice movie and definitely, it's not because of jay chou. haha. man, wish i can play piano like jay. sigh.

anyway, tomorrow's my cousin's wedding. not really close to her but i do see her during CNYs. like finally i get to attend a wedding dinner alright? it's been so long since i've been to one. think the last one i went to was when i was maybe six or seven years old.

my mom just told me we'll be going taiwan in november 10-19. looking forward to it. all the shopping and all. it'll be like the time when the three of us, mom bro me plus my mom's colleague, when we went to korea. haha. man, hungry. taiwan has loads of great food. well, still more interested in the shopping part. xD



-LeeUuZ

♥ 10:03 PM

wasn't the best of my moods recently, but i got better! thanks to all those who knew and cared. (: and thanks to you, i'm feeling my best already. those simple gestures that you made effort to put in, really makes me feel a whole lot brilliant.

anyway, working as usual. been passing time with miniclip when i hadn't got anything to do. and i come to know of this game called Monkey Kick Off! haha. it kills loads of time especially when you're trying to reach over 4km! haha. here's my personal best!

oh yeah! 4644! sadly, don't know why i can post my highscore. or i'd be in the topTEN at least! haha. oh well, i only got two words now, BEAT THAT! hahahaha. crazy -.-

sigh, i'm bored. i want to meet up with some friends but so hard to arrange. and OH! i just remembered. my piano practical exam is tomorrow. LOL. considering i only practised once a week, WHICH is at my piano teacher's house, maybe i still can scrape through. haha. bro's getting cold feet and he'll be having last minute tuition today. haha. don't know why i'm not feeling so nervous about it. kind of worrying huh? but i guess i'm back to normal cause i never used to be afraid of my piano exams. haha. pro eh?

ok monkeys! go enjoy the kick off! i'll go back to work.



-LeeUuZ

♥ 2:04 PM

you know what's better than sleeping in my office? doing a stupid quiz. hahaha.

List out top5 birthday presents you want:
1. treat me to rebond my hair? xD
2. newurbanmale bag?
3. bikini!
4. nice slippers (more formal kind)
5. my own room *hintsbrotoslpinthelivingroom*
for you to be less troubled than you are now, i'd give everything

Answer the following question:
1.(The person who tag you is...)
jing

2.(Your relationship with him/her is...)
siblings, SIGH

3.(your 5 impressions on him or her is...)
gay, lame, freaking tall, smaller eyes than me, dances well

4.(The most memorable thing he/she did for you...)
hmm, nothing? LOL kidding! he got me and LL some panda thing when he went china

5.(The most memorable words he/she said to you...)
ZEHH~!

6.(If he/she become your lover, you'll...)
o.O no, way.

7.(If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she need to improve on is...)
hmm, be more man

8.(If he/she becomes your enemy you'll...)
ignore him

9.(If he/she becomes your enemy, the reasons will be...)
irritating me too much with his sleep talking. haha-OOPS! didn't mean to blurt it out =x

10.(The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is...)
teach him to BE A MAN

11.(our overall impression of him/her...)
hmm, i don't know. what do YOU think?

12.How do you think people around you feel about you?
DAO at first sight

13.The character you love of yourself are?
determination! mind over matter!

14.On the contrary, the character you hate of yourself are?
being nervous at the wrong time

15.The most ideal person you wanna be with is?
LEGOLAS! haha. nah, his name starts with L too. xD

16.For those people who love and care about you, say something to them.
thanks! love and care about you too!

17.Pass this quiz to 10 people to know how they feel about you.(Please try not to chose those the previous person has chosen, but you may)
1. LL! (i just put here for fun cause i know he won't do it)
2. girlfriend
3. nee
4. cass
5. kenny
6. xuan
7. peixuan (zhou xin chi!)
8. fidell?
9. mumu!
10. yunzhen

18.Who is no.6 having a relationship with?
haha! her bf of course!

19. Is no.9 a male or female?
hmm, doubtful. xD he's my JIEMEI

20.If no.7 and 10 are together will it be a good thing?
if lesbianism is good, then maybe

21.How about no.6 and 5?
ahahahaha! NO

22.What is no.2 studying about?
MECHATRONICS

23.When is the last time you chat with no.3?
sms, yesterday

24.What kinda band does no.8 like?
westlife! haha. but that's all i know LOL

25. Does no.1 have any sibling?
yup. one bro one sis

26.Will you woo no. 3?
*WINKS AT NEE* xD

27.How about no.7?
cannot!! she got her QX already

28.Is no.4 single?
don't know. are you?

29.What is the hobby of no.4?
eat. sleep. shop. whine.

30.Does no.5 and 9 get along well?
err, not sure.

31.Where is no.2 studying at?
temasek poly

32.Talk something casually about no.1.
handsome! great great cook! neng suo hua de yen jing!

33.Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?
nah, not my type. too short! xDD

34.Where does no.9 live at?
tampines st11! haha.

35.What colour does no.4 like?
green

36.Are no.5 and 1 best friends?
naye

37.Does no.7 like no.2?
erm, they haven't met

38.How did you get to know no.2?
chinese class during secondary three!

39.Does no.1 have any pets?
don't have

40.Is no.7 the sexist person on Earth?
hahahahahaha! wait till she sees this!

lol. that was fun. but i'm still bored! hopefully those names will see my blog. haha.
ok, i'll go now! byebye!



-LeeUuZ

♥ 4:39 PM

Zzz. i had a tiring but eventful weekend. still feeling the after effects so i'm quite sluggish. anyway, surprise surprise. i woke up early on both saturday and sunday! LoL. usually i'd just sleep till noon and wake up for church or piano.

so yea, on saturday, had this amazing race thing organised by tampines something. LoL. it's called Urban Adventure Race. whoa........ but it wasn't that fun as it sounds. it was raining in the morning which made me so reluctant to leave my bed. still, i had some enthusiasm for it so i went to LL's house at seven in the morning! so early. when i reached his house, he was some sort awake (wow!). haha. usually he sleeps alot. xD me too. xD so we just laze around in the living room. then his sis came out and whined to us about waking up so early. haha. oh yea! forgot to mention. our group that's taking part in the race includes me LL, his sis and junwei. yup. so as i've mentioned, it was RAINING. so his sis kept psycho-ing us to not participate. haha. i wanted so much to agree with her but stupid LL insisted on going. furthermore, junwei was at the place (field beside tampines mrt) already so sigh, we went.

when we registered for the race, i so much wanted to just take the free shirt and go for breakfast. LoL. sadly, the organisers will only give us the shirt after the race so boohoo. lol. there goes my delicious breakfast dream. race started at 9.30am i think and we ran all over tampines. in the entire race, we took only two bus rides. TWO! and there were what? TWENTY EIGHT stations! got to do cargo net climbing and kayaking during the race. LL did abseiling. bleh, arm power for me! my arms are still aching from the race. sigh, though i didn't really enjoy the games, i enjoyed the company. it's the first time LL and i took part in something competitive together and i really had fun racing and doing childish stuff with him along the way. and it's been awhile since i last saw him being so determined to get something he wants (three hundred dollar prize money LOL). oh! it's the first time i see him so fit. haha. kind of realised that his stamina ain't as bad as i thought. haha. being team leader and all, he just kept on running and running. now it makes me even more excited about him going NS. haha. i sound like i'm the one going NS. unfortunately and unjustly, we didn't win the race. this is because the answers provided by the organisers weren't standardised. some answers they gave were too general and some were too specific. thus loads of other teams didn't manage to score. and what's worse is that there was only ONE answer to each station. i mean like come on, i've organised stuff like this before and i always know that as organisers, we have to provide more than one answer because topics were too general. anyways anyways, i was disappointed and felt that we deserved to win. LL was quite angry. sigh. but he cooled off in the end. wasted a morning. haha.

following afternoon that day, LL ended his partnership with limFatFat at tampines changkat. we sort of found out he was being two-headed and what he said can't be trusted at all. blah, all the complications. too long to type out. just to warn you all out there, never trust LIM WAI SIN and TAN TEN SIONG. and sadly to say, both were my coaches in the past. now we know why i only reached my peak form during secondary four when i could've done so in secondary one? haha.

sunday i woke up in the morning again this time i went to changkat to help out in the open house. this time, i so wanted to tell LL that i didn't want to go but i promised him some time ago. so i dragged myself out of the house and fortunately for me, my dad was nice so i got a ride. xD so while preparing the stuff at changkat, limFatFat approached us from behind and threatened LL,

"ni zui hao bu yao na wo de xue shen. bu ran, wo yi ding hui ba ni nong si!"

in english, "you better not steal any of my students. or i'll make sure you'd suffer!"

and he said that infront of so many people. sigh. why did he have to go to that extend? it's not like LL "stole" his students. it's the student's choice to train under LL. it's just like doing business. two companies competing for the same type of customers. they can present their best but at the end of the day, it's the customer that will choose who to work with. furthermore, it's the student that chose to change coach, it's not like LL forced him to or what. anyway, i'll talk about that later. so yea, the open house. yan jL came to help out! haha. cool huh? all in all, our booth was quite successful. LL is an AUNTY KILLER. haha. they love him so much. haha.

when for piano then went to find LL for changkat. in the end that pig was sleeping and wouldn't get up for training. so i went ahead first and that stupid @#^%&!@#&%&^ limFatFat did something so despicable! he actually forced one of the student's dad to pay first before he'll coach. and you know what? the same student, his mom came on saturday and wanted LL as the coach. @#$&*^*#&$^*!! makes me so angry thinking about it. so i couldn't stand it and i called LL. few minutes later, this boy called darren and his mom arrived. darren is one of the students that chose to be under LL. so his mom knew firmly that the coach they'll be looking for and paying is LL. so i told the mom that her friend's son (the previous case) is under limFatFat. she was abit stunned cause on saturday, the mom of the other boy decided to let her son be under LL. in the end, the dad, unaware of the case, got forced by limFatFat to pay. grr. sigh. i'm so disappointed in limFatFat cause i thought he changed for the better.

after changkat, LL and i went Din Tai Fung for dinner with his mom, sis and cousin. along the way there was this flea market. i both TWO SHIRTS from there! and they were so cheap!! haha. i bought this tank top for $4.90 and the tee for $7.90! after dinner LL and i went shopping at NTUC. he bought this caramel sauce for his coffee stuff and i got this retro japanese sweet. hee. went back to his house and LL made coffee for all of us. yummy!

anyway, think i better get back to work. this post took me one and a half hour! LOL. and sigh, boss not here so the other boss like picking on me. ): always like that. and i realised i rarely go online at home. hmm...



-LeeUuZ

♥ 11:34 AM

LoL! i have memory lapse. anyway, i wanted to update on friday night's Room Full of Stories. haha. i thought it was not bad. chinhan-ge is really a good singer, so is cfj. haha. i brought LL to All Saints' that night. really sweet of him to come cause it meant so much to me and i know he's not really a fan. i can only hope he enjoyed himself that night. but it was quite weird when we got to church. somehow, he just attracted so many glances that it made us feel a little uncomfortable. sigh. and i was thinking where and who to sit with the whole time so that the attention would be less on him. in the end i think i failed terribly cause when we just stepped into the place, all eyes seemed to be turned onto us. bleh. found cass and yj. sat with them and felt even more weird.

however, everything lightened up when the programmes began so it wasn't all that bad. later on yiting came to join us. haha. always have fun with her around. can always make fun of her and make her super irritated till she don't know how to reply me. LoL. lame gf. GFF! xD

after the event, me LL cass yj when to scissors cut (jian dao jian xD) to eat. was a very satisfying meal, love the cabbage and the curry rice. aahh, getting hungry again. along the way home cass kept making awkward gestures that never fail to keep me entertained. LoL. should really video her and show you all and we all could have a good laugh.

hmm, fast forward till last night. i went with LL and his dad to this seventh month dinner (hungry ghost festival you know you know?). it's been so long since i last attended one. i remember when i was still a small girl living in tampines street 11, block 131! i used to attend the dinner held in the round market. it was always such a noisy event as there were people auctioning stuff. whistles and yells were all over the place. furthermore, there would be food served. one of the most commonly served dishes would be the suckling pig! haha. well, the dinner i went last night also had suckling pig. there were abalones too! but it wasn't alot i guess. *psst!expensive!psst!* food was quite good and the atmosphere was not bad. the auction thing was removed so it wasn't very noisy. however! there was the karaoke that's opened to the floor. LL's dad went up to sing! hehehe. quite good, i see where the genes came from. xD and i realise LL can be a cam whore too. err, not a whore, cam pimp! LOL! the thing ended around 11pm and LL's dad fetch me home. hee. was sitting at the back of the lorry and it was soooo cold. think the lorry was going quite fast. haha. overall i enjoyed myself. (:

i'm so glad LL's in my life now. especially during this time when my mom's not happy with me and all. really glad that he's older and wiser and can really talk some sense into me. the difference between us, haha. yes yes, you are more mature ok? haha. whee! as the seventh month of the hungry ghost festival is passing, our seventh month together is approaching! feels like we've been together for so long already (hoi agrees? LOL). haha. hopefully we can last.



-LeeUuZ

♥ 2:51 PM

my mom's still angry with me i guess. sigh. really don't know what can i do to please her. sometimes adults really think they're always right without looking from their kids' point of view. well, adults work. they take an off day to slack too. i work. i take a day off to slack too. in the end? i got scolded by my mom. i need a break can't she understand that? i'm not like other kids studying in school. i'm not an adult yet and working isn't my everything. i don't have the burden to support any kids yet. i don't have much burden on bills. the only person i'm supporting is myself. so what if i skip a day's work to let myself relax and earn less money? why would you care so much? if you cared you would've given me allowance. if you cared you would've provided me with much more understanding.

so she was sarcastic to me again this morning. and made so much fuss out of every little action i do. i finally feel like i understand nee's life and what she always say, "i don't know what can i do to please her." yup. it sucks. at least my freedom isn't all that restricted yet.

anyway, away with the unhappy stuff. i watch Evan Almighty already! though it wasn't as funny as Bruce Almighty, but it was clearly more meaningful. i love it. furthermore, i watched it with some people from 07S22! whoopee! long time since i last saw any of them. there was eunice, weisheng, wenjie, elroy, wesmond and nicholas. had fun with the group. bleh, i was late cause i overslept. lucky LL called me and i realised i was late. haha. we ate at Carl's Jr for lunch, my virgin visit! LOL. the burger was huge. taste was ok only thus i ended up getting really sick of the taste. and i got my present! haha. thanks guys. love the shirt and the candle. :) sadly, i still haven't got my class tee. boo. while waiting for the movie to start, we went to play pool! elroy and weisheng are pro! haha. i started my first game with wenjie and kept missing like crazy. and we spent so long on the first game that when weisheng went away and came back, he asked, "new game le ar?" LOL! we were still on the first game. but later on, we got the hang of it after warming up. but wenjie was still leading me in the game. BUT! i caught up and WON! oh yeah! thanks to dan and guan pooling academy. LOL! so about the movie, i really love the part when "God" describes to Evan's wife about the story of Noah's Ark as a love story. saying that when someone asks for courage, does God give him/her courage or the opportunity to be courageous? so if someone asks for the family to be bonded, does God fills the family with the warm fuzzy feeling of togetherness or does God provide them with the opportunity to be bonded? the story of Noah's Ark shows a beautiful love story of Noah and his family side by side braving the flood. animals in pairs walk side by side into the Ark that Noah had built. it was really sweet and it touched me loads. cause we always had this thinking that God is scary and all to have created the flood which destroyed so much. but God is still a loving God and He provides us with opportunities to have what we asked for.

earlier on this year i prayed for something so dear to my heart. though it's not fulfilled yet, God has already provided me with opportunities for it to happen. so God, continue providing me with those opportunities alright?

and i was thinking of sharing a song. so long since i last did. anyway, here it is!

Avril Lavigne - When You're Gone


beautiful song. though it's not recommended to be played over and over again. haha.

ok i got to go.



-LeeUuZ

♥ 2:05 PM