suddenly i had this urge to look at my new year resolution for 2007 and so i did. i realised i only completed fifty percent of the whole list! sigh, what have i been doing this whole year?

1. get a job
2. be more responsible [i'm not a kid anymore] - you be the judge
3. try not to think about my results for the mean time
4. get more Christian books
5. get a new handphone [can this even be counted as a resolution? LoL]
6. take proper care of the new handphone
7. be more focused - you be the judge
8. complete piano grade 7 but failed
9. smile more [heard comments about my "dao" face xD] - you be the judge
10. learn to wear heels [LOL]
11. bring my family to church
12. stop playing RPGs

well of those that are done, i don't find them of any achievement at all. i sort of realised my goals that i set for myself are pretty useless actually. for the being more responsible part, i guess maybe i did accomplish some of it, most of it during work. get more Christian books? people gave me books so does it count? LoL. and definitely not taking proper care of my handphone. haha. my colleagues will know the best seeing the countless times my phone attempted suicide in these few months. sad right? be more focused? i think i can be focused just that sleep is something that can't be erased from my life. hehe. ok, do you guys think that i smile more now? sigh, i'm most disappointed with number eleven. this year, i don't even think i brought my family to church once. ): for that i feel extremely remorseful and utterly shameful.

when i look back at this year, i realised my life was pretty much stagnant. not that i haven't learn anything. it's just that i haven't accomplished much. people say that i've changed to look more feminine. somehow, it's just the appearance and look carefully, the way i walk sit is still the same! haha. i want to accomplish more. and since i'll be finally returning to the school life next year, it's time i do something about it.

new year resolution coming up soon for 2008. wish me good luck!



-LeeUuZ

♥ 11:56 PM

i finally remembered to blog about the recent increment in cab fares. cause during lunch, we were talking about it. venting our frustration at the ridiculously high prices. and last night i was watching the news, it seemed like i was watching a propagandaed movie. getting scared cab drives to tell us we should just get used to the increased fares. comparing the old prices and the new ones. what the use is that? telling us that there's not much of a change actually? let me tell you something. i used to cab home from my bf's house during the midnight charges and it has never exceeded $6 in total. now? i have to pay $7 or more. and my bf's house isn't that far from mine. just travelling from tampines to tampines. imagine if the distance was more? i probably sound like some cheapo miser but hey, up to 65 - 70% i'm supporting myself with my measly pay of less than 1k per month. somehow, my house us like a free hotel and my dad still pays for my handphone bills.

my colleagues were complaining to me about cab drivers being too noisy. basically, they are "complaining" to us about how much customers have they lost. whoa! to me, it sounded more like they're trying to gain our favour and try not to let us think that THEY ARE THE ONES WHO WANTED THE INCREASE. too bad, you're exposed.

but i understand the part where the customers decrease. of course who in their right mind would want to take cab as frequently as before when you're like paying 35% more? seriously if i had the money, i'd take this chance to set up a new cab company and get the old fares back. it's just the thing about us "kiasu" people. we'll want to get the cheapest deal out there and take the most advantage of it. thus, more customers for me and boohoo to ComfortDelgro and all of the lame bunch of cab companies.

you know what us sgians should do now? let me tell you:

1. get rid of our "just get used to it there's nothing we can do" attitude
come on people! how can you get use to "unknown" sources ripping off your hard-earned salary? the sweat, blood and all the torment your bosses give to you. surely it's more worth to spend it some place else instead of cab fares. we were taught to stand up for our consumer rights but WHAT THE HELL are we doing now? these days, we should really unite and stand up against the "unknown" sources. we are people too. ripping off our CPFs with that after 85 years old thing, no way i'll "get used to" this crap. oh! let me quote, "We the citizens of sg, pledge ourselves as ONE UNITED PEOPLE". this is the time.

2. boycott cabs
how exactly are we to accomplish that feat? it's really not that hard since majority of the cab's earnings come from young people. young people have the most efficient access to communication tools, mobiles internet etc. and guess what? we are highly trained in that form of communication too. just spread the news! boycott cabs! i'm sure we can survive late nights with walking, cycling and also NRs. if not, just stay out till morning and catch an early bus/mrt home. it'll be quick. there'll be absolutely nothing to stop you from boycotting cabs. remember your consumer rights, you spend your money where you want to.

3. parade the streets
i'm sure the jail cells will not be big enough to contain the entire population. what about all that democracy thing? sure, electing our own MPs but so what? majority of us only vote for the so-called popular MPs cause we're just scared. we're afraid to explore new things. also, we're afraid of the TUR KUA. but what can they do if we all petitioned and have protest marches along the streets? the media will have a feast and definitely, our reputation as a peaceful country will be diminished. unless of course, the "unknown" sources censors the media like our theatres. ):

well, number 3 seems the most impossible out of the three but surely, 1 and 2? they just need a tiny bit of effort?

anyway, i don't think i did a good job in this. so! here are a few links for your pleasure. don't just read and laugh, actually put some thought into it and start doing what we all should do. GET OUR OWN LIFE. not let it be ruined by some "unknown" sources. tch!

http://singaporepeasants.blogspot.com/
http://www.spug.sg/forums/showthread.php?t=90694 ---> i love this
of course, http://mrbrown.com should not be forgotten.

next thing i'll do is to invest in a good bicycle and the prices of rubber and steel will increase. (x ok back to work.



-LeeUuZ

♥ 2:36 PM

oops, i missed Christmas on my blog. well never mind, everyday can be Christmas! (x

finally done with all my performances. can't say i did well for both. i know my piano sucked a bit cause i stumbled during the first piece. which resulted my legs to be shaking through the whole thing. LoL. luckily, the second and last piece are my forte and playing them had become so natural for me. the dance, i think we performed better during the rehearsals. maybe it was the lack of nerves and audiences. haha. nonetheless, congrats to those who participated in the dance and you guys did great in such a short time! (: should be really proud of ourselves.

anyway, i prefer dancing than playing piano on stage. seriously, i think performing on the piano is really very hard. it's like, the hall's so quiet that every breath can be heard. and when you strike the wrong note, it's really obvious. boo. while in dancing, even if you did solo, i guess the audience can never guess if your mistake was an accident or on purpose. haha. and i prefer dancing cause i get to shake off any nerve i have.

anyway, Christmas was ok for me this year. after performing during Christmas' eve, managed to catch up with friends i haven't met for a long time. so like, the church guys decided to play basketball! sigh, no life. and being me, i didn't want to go home so early, IT'S CHRISTMAS' EVE! so marcus and i chatted and waited for the guys playing basketball to be done. after that, we went to century square coffeebean to "countdown". sometimes, i think my church people are quite no life, you know what? after the countdown, they left for home. like, instantaneous. what?! boring man. so i went to find cass and des at aljunied. ok, i've officially labeled geylang a place i shall never venture into wearing skirt or dress or spag or tank or halter. you get the idea. males species of the human race are just out for meat sometimes. animals. so glad that i finally got of the place. was then i met nee and we went to dan's house along with guan. showed them jeff dunham's videos. could tell guan enjoyed it alot. haha. around four in the morning, went to look for him. hehe.

in the end, we sort of have an argument. and it was quite bad. resulted in my absence in church during the Christmas service. but somehow, we always managed to forgive and forgo the incident and move on. the apologies we had when we woke up really brightened my day a whole lot. guess i'm really blessed to have such a relationship with him. we're quick to quarrels, and efficient to resolving it. i think the worse quarrel we had, it resulted in the silent treatment for a whole day. usually, i practically melt and fall back into his arms when he calls. hehe.

i really really love this boy so much. he is so so cute when he sleeps. so dependable when you need someone to turn to for advice or different views. i have more mushy stuff but to prevent my readers to suffer from diabetes, i'll just stop here. anyway, to you if you see this! i really love you, i really really do! thanks for everything ok?

ok, i'm super tired.



-LeeUuZ

♥ 12:47 AM

just read a meaningful email sent by skg. about Christmas when we celebrate it. how joyous the season when people sing, exchange gifts, feast and party. but how many a times do we all know the meaning behind the celebration? how many of us remember the reason why?

it's Christ's birthday.

how many of us actually celebrate this glorious day when our Saviour was born? how many of us actually take time to give thanks to God? every year without fail, we'd remember to buy gifts for family and friends. every year without fail, we party and countdown to Christmas day. but do we remember the birthday boy? how does it feel when it's your birthday yet you're not invited to the party? how does it feel when it's your birthday and you see people exchanging presents when you're not given one. how does it feel that you're not the star of the show during your birthday?

wonder how come we'd always link Christmas to santa claus instead. how ironic cause Christmas is actually CHRISTmas. and wonder why we link so many unrelated stuff like sleigh bells and reindeer to Christmas instead of how God sent Jesus on the very same day to earth so that Jesus can die for our sins? after reading the email, i got guilty. i realise how much i've been missing out with the Lord. through this whole year, how many people have i actually brought to church? how many people do i spend effort on to even try bringing them to church? to me, this year is a so-called wasted year since i haven't been doing anything at all. and was i a good testimony to my family and friends? colleagues? i guess not. sigh, i'm so "gonna get a hug real bad" from God. haha. well, no use procrastinating.

still, i'm really confused about my life with what God's planning to do with it. it's not like i can write beautiful testimonies like those emails i receive. it's not like i can convey messages well enough to tell people of the good news. ): demoralised i am.

but i do know that i should spend more time in church. guess the whole year i've been some sort of avoiding close contact with the church, my cell people for example. many of them don't even know i quit school till i told them. my cell! they're supposed to be the ones that'll be most updated by me. so roughly you can guess the situation of my relationship with the church. haha. sadly, this avoidance created some distance in between and i have hard time trying to open up myself in front of them. maybe i wasn't thinking of opening up in the first place.

so i'm working harder now. bothering to take part in the dance thing. trying to spend more time in church. proportion my time spent between bf, family, friends and church. guess more balance is needed since next year i'll be starting school. for now, i hope our dance will turn out good. even if it's not, i know the people put in a lot of effort for it already. and most importantly, we'd enjoy it and use it to glorify God.

for non-believers that come across this blog. you may think why so many believers of God spend so much time trying to get the idea across to you guys. you may think, all these are bull. ask us questions like why are there still sufferings on earth? why do we believe in the Bible which is written by men? but ask yourself, does it really matter to you? no one's forcing you to believe in God. no one's threatening you with a knife i dare say. but do you know, how many believers have had knives and guns to their throats and heads? how many believers suffer because atheist believe in themselves instead of God? who's the one forcing their own set of thinking on others? since you don't believe us in the first place so why bother messing with us? it's weird how the world works and you know it. it's just a matter of God vs the people. get a life instead of messing up others'. one last thing, is God really so ridiculous that atheist around the world choose to go against just this "imaginary figure"? maybe it's just the biggest competitor in the so-called religion world.

whoa, long naggy post. haha. well more about my life. still working, but it's getting more fun by the day. working has turned to competing games on facebook with my colleagues. more teasing and more sharing. but we're all leaving soon. first it'll be canderina, then sock hwee, then me, then fion. boo. i'll miss them. haha. so mushy! but i really enjoy the times in starhub with them. and also gladys. hehe. she's been a really nice boss to us. really really very nice. don't know how many bosses can stand their employees taking so many leaves, playing games, teasing her etc etc. haha. cool huh? (x



-LeeUuZ

♥ 11:40 PM

man, this will be my most tiring Christmas ever. have two performances, one at yms and the other at church. woo, i'm an entertainer! (x

guess that's why i'm so tired this weekend. well, partially was cause i didn't sleep much. but i have to MOVE my body! hehe. first time after so long i'm finally working out. basically we'll be doing hiphop for the church Christmas thing so yea, move and move. effectively, i suffered muscle aches. haha. for the performance at yms, it'll just be piano. LUCKILY. and being so tired, and feeling quite unwell, i slept from three or four plus in the afternoon till this morning around seven almost eight! haha. i was so shocked! when i saw the light in the morning, i thought it was my imagination tricking me and i believed it was evening. haha. but remembering the previous day was raining, the contrast made me like really wake up. haha. i was so amazed too that i messaged him. hehe. and he replied,

"the power of ***** leeuuz unleashed"

haha. ok, i guess i'm really quite skilled. (x so today, i feel great! haha. so the early sleep early wake body good actually works. LOL. but it certainly does not cure muscle aches. which does not really matter cause i'm actually enjoying the aching. hehe. love the way my body feels tired after the work out, shows i was making effort. (:

oh! our tenth month! so happy! the day he asked me to be his gf is still so fresh in my mind. (: and every time i think about it, i'd feel my face widening and my lips twisting uncontrollably upwards. tingling sensations will flow from my head to my toes that makes me jiggle. sometimes i wish my dreams will take me back to that time but sadly, they never did. haha. still, that night was so magical. i believe it is for most people. whether the setting was romantic or not, whether it was just the two of you or not, i believe it'll be beautiful. well, i believe it is for two that love each other. that night, though i wasn't expecting it, i was secretly hoping for him to pop the question. hehe. call me naive, but i truly felt like the luckiest girl in the universe that night. can't really imagine if we're not together. OHKAYYY!! MUSHY. (x

but seriously, the person who's able to excite and calm, hurt and heal, so familiar yet so confusing at the same time, is really SOMEONE. haha. love is really so complicated yet simple at the same time. somehow, the person who end up hurting you most, may be the one that you love the most. someone you can give your all to, may not return the same amount. this relationship is just like us humans and God. it's like no matter how unconditional his love for us is, most of us don't love him the same way. seriously for believers, if someone asked you, God sent His one and only son Jesus Christ to die for your sins on the cross, will you die for God? to sacrifice your life to repay Him? to completely let Him take over your life because you "owe" it to Him? honestly, i'm no where near to even get hurt for Him yet. i used to think i could when i just accepted Christ. but now, guess times changed. child-like faith, i want it.

but for non-believers, naively, i used to think this type of posts would somehow "spark" some enlightenment into you. but i guess not. haha. but really, have you ever wondered why so many things seemed to fall into place? how so many things keep going wrong even though you tried praying for the best? tried praying for things to get better instead it got worse? well, the thing is, you tried. you did not do it. sometimes, the optimistic attitude is applied. we pray cause we believe it'll happen. we pray because we know God will help us. maybe you pray that you strike the lottery, but it doesn't happen. then you tell me, you really believed it'd happen but it didn't. but think, is gambling ever good? winning is not the point. losing isn't too. the point is, when you win, you want more. unlimited wants but limited resources. how much money do you want to win? sooner or later, once you're hooked on winning money, you can't get enough of it. but money is limited. it'll deplete. that's when you start losing. but you feel unjust, you want to win it all back. in the end? you'll end up with nothing. think? God did not let you win, because He did not want you to take ONE BIG round to suffer. maybe He'd rather you think of Him as being petty not letting you win. dropping you hints to stop. well, just think about it yourself.

ok, i think i've blabbered too much.



-LeeUuZ

♥ 11:01 PM

You're in my arms
And all the world is gone
The music playing on
For only two
So close together

And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams must die
So I bid mine goodbye
And never knew
So close was waiting
Waiting here with you
And now, forever, I know
All that I want is to hold you
So close

So close to reaching
That famous happy and
Almost believing
This one's not pretend
Now you're beside me
And look how far we've come
So far
We are
So close...

Oh, how could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?

We're so close to reaching
That famous happy end
Almost believing
This one's not pretend
Let's go on dreaming
Though we know we are
So close
So close, and still
So far

aaahhh!! i lovelove this song from the movie ENCHANTED! hehe. so romantic! decided to change my blog song to that. (x anyway, HE IS SO SWEET! haha. it's like friday night after the movie, i told him i wanted to get the dvd for enchanted and guess what? he bought it for me yesterday! i was so so touched. thank you so much!

well finally, a cafe/bar/restaurant is set up in tampines. FINALLY. no more late nights into clarke quay or goldenmile complex! haha. visited the place last night with cass. it's called Blue Urban Oasis. can be found beside coffeebean at century square. i ordered a cocktail called pink lady while cass ordered seabreeze. pink lady somehow tasted like the sex on a drip i had when i went to clinic at clarke quay. but it's nice. and we ordered this dish called urban mix which includes chicken, buffalo wings, sotong balls and fish! the sotong balls and fish were delicious. enjoyed it very much. (: then we stayed there till like past midnight and the manager decided to give us complimentary drinks! haha. so happy. we got a strawberry margarita each. superbly tasty. hehe. think it'll be our regular soon. (x will bring mom there soon i guess. i sort of forgotten about her birthday. oops. so will bring her there to have a belated celebration. hope she'll like it.

i hope everything will go smoothly tonight. hope. and i haven't had my Christmas shopping. hmm.



-LeeUuZ

♥ 6:36 PM

yay finally watched enchanted! after countless people telling me about how nice it was. haha. and the show's great! (x

i lovelove the chipmunk PIP! so cute!! haha. nonetheless, the story is very fairytale. meaning sigh, not going to happen. still, i love the singing part in the park! HOW DOES SHE KNOWS THAT YOU LOVE HER? (: pretty meaningful movie too. no spoilers fortunately. hehe.

almost thought i couldn't watch it yesterday cause he said he'll be busy till eight thirty or nine. turns out he reached century square earlier than me just cause my bus DID NOT COME. hmph.

ok, supposed to leave the house for church already but i wonder why am i still blogging here. and i want to go Christmas shopping! hopefully soon cause i don't think i'll have time to do so later on.

anyway, this year's Christmas is going to be different from the past years i guess. well, of cause i'll go for service on Christmas. i'm just wondering about the crowd. wondering if people who are not with us now will come back. i know it's not for me to comment or anything i just want to do something. but i know my situation isn't that good myself.

well hopefully, i'd still get to meet up with old friends by the end of this year. it's been so long since we went out. sigh!!



-LeeUuZ

♥ 1:42 PM

dad bought mom a chanel perfume. mom and i was like saying it was so not him. but anyway, like mom like daughter, both of us don't have much of a habit of perfuming ourselves. (x well, it's still sweet of him to buy something for his wife i guess. i can tell even though mom didn't really like the present, but she's really happy that her husband is still willing to spend money on her to pamper her and stuff. lucky mom. hopefully i'll find a husband who's willing to pamper me till i grow saggy and wrinkly. haha! anyway, my form of pampering would be cooking for me or massage or just bringing me for walks along the beach at night. money really does not have to be involved. (:

somebody commented my last post wasn't meaningful at all! ): LOL. well i know it wasn't. i really lack substantial topics to blog about. work is really very boring and i was quite surprised that i last through it. and looking back at all my posts since i left school, very few times i blogged about work. i mean like, how interesting can it get? i can't possibly complain about irritating customers who can't make up their minds if they wanted to have or to cancel the order. lost right? haha.

didn't go to work today. recently my tummy's having some sort of problem. i'm not sure was it something i ate or it's gastric flu or whatever. but i've been having diarrhea since tuesday. on and off pains and frequent toilet visits. i think i have weak stomach inherited from dad. ): hopefully it's not something serious.

oh! i realised this long long time ago but just felt like bringing it up now. all saints' neglect poly people. i don't understand why is there a stereotyped thinking that poly is easy/not stressful. well for people who don't know, there are more tests, exams and projects in poly added together compared to jc. i know, jc is stressed cause you take less than maybe one year half to complete what some take four years to learn. and failing A level is really a goner. but seriously speaking, poly is as stressful. basically, in a tertiary environment, lecturers would expect the students to be adults and be more matured in handling their work. and since being treated like adults, stress applied on poly students are almost equivalent to those of universities. it's like in one week, you'd be expected to cope with the exams, last minute projects, and assignments. well, cass called me today whining about it and all. poor thing. don't worry! i'll join you next year. haha. and poly students can get pretty busy. like my dear nee, when i'm free she's not and vice versa. so people, please wake up! maybe that's why poly exams aren't included in the announcement cause there're too many. people just take that for granted thinking that poly is slack. well, to all the poly people! i know it's the stress period now so do take care! don't stay up too late!

ok, i'll go sleep now. whee! it's before midnight!! (x
can't wait for tomorrow! i want to watch ENCHANTED! (:



-LeeUuZ

♥ 11:58 PM

i decided that my two hundredth post has to be a meaningful one. haha. and yes, FINALLY over a period of one and a half year i posted two hundred posts. that's an average of around ten posts per month.

well, recently i kept reading blog entries about love love and heartbreak. and i wonder about my own relationship. frankly speaking, this is the first relationship i have that lasted this long and is deep rooted in my heart. previous relationship(s) was/were really superficial. guess i was more immature back then and the meaning of love was only about companionship.

then i think back again about the number of suitors i've had. it's really not much. and among those, i've had girls looking weirdly at me wondering if i was straight or not. haha. i remember that time it was really funny cause i used to have very short hair. and i don't exactly look straight. haha. (x the names i was given, xiaodi ahboy etc. was really fun back then. but back to the main point, i'm really surprised that i'm in this relationship right now. though the shock has worn off since long long ago, basically i feel that it's either pure fate that it happened or it was merely an accident that had a twist. LoL. seriously, i'm really thankful for him appreciating me for who i am. and for bearing the unbearable me for so long. ahahaha. and knowing the guy he is now, somehow i don't seem like the "one" he'll look for. sometimes i envy all those girls who he points out to me when we go out. quite demoralising actually. those girls are really so pretty and have like so many people admiring them. ): but in the reality, looks just matters! it's all about the first impression i think. sigh, and the girls he points out are really really pretty. ): so how he chose me?

all these just makes me think, am i just lucky? lucky to know people that led me to him. lucky enough let me just drop in his presence. and lucky enough for him to happen to find me so-called attractive during that time. but, i'm glad i was lucky! (x

ok, that wasn't very meaningful. LOL! but anyway, my weekend was pretty fun. i mentioned that i went to his workplace on friday night. apart from that, went to ahstt chalet at aranda. man those secondary ones are really really screamy. even my primary school kids at qiaonan behave better than them. though they are quite cheeky but at least they don't screech. LOL. come on, screechers please enrol some place else. cause ahs don't screech, we roar. we make big cats look like kittens. sigh, whatever happened to the school? miss the roars of "SHEN ZONG...... SHEN ZONG!! *clapclap*" during basketball season. i know the last time when i went back ahs during one of the trainings that clashed with the basketball match, the stadium was so cold. only sports class people from secondary two and above were there. the rest of the school? it's really sad to see the school spirit fade away after we left. the school does not feel as homely as it used to. but anyway, the chalet, i only chat awhile with some juniors. awhile means like really awhile. not more than five minutes. sad right? only played mahjong with jL cass and shihui. later on went to supper with cass and jL at xinwang. haha. so fun. me and cass make really good investigators! (x

then yesterday, had rehearsal at yms for my piano teacher's christmas concert/fund raising for charity. then i brought jing to find cass at geylang. tsk tsk. we went to the pub and ktv-ed for five hours plus straight. then i got scolded by my mom on the phone. -.- whatever. said i was teaching jing to come home late like me. like what the hell? he could go home late when he's with his friends. she has no problem with me coming home late too. don't understand the fuss about me bringing jing along. MENOPAUSE.

ok, this post is getting pointless. hahaha! so much for being the second hundred. (x



-LeeUuZ

♥ 2:36 PM

sigh. i find that i really have nothing to blog about nowadays. the only thing that keeps me blogging would be to reflect upon my old self from the old post.

anyway, the week was boring. apart from wednesday night and last night. both nights i went to his workplace. (: think it's a really bad habit, the drinking. haha. my mom nagged a bit calling me an alcohol junkie. weekends weekends.



-LeeUuZ

♥ 2:40 PM