the rain's pouring. i have this complex feeling of lost and tiredness.

that aside, i went thai disco on halloween with handsomeboy, hoi and yiting. songs were great but i don't know why i just felt sian. i guess after that exciting "first encounter" with ah woon, now it just feels empty? maybe eye candies should just remain as they are, just to look at for pleasure. haha. the other guy was friendlier though.

there was this botak, brace-faced ns guy. he looks and behaves like a total retard. kept blocking my view of the stage. smokes, have this "gawwwh" expression on his face.

ugh. absolutely digusting. i could've just smash the bottle of chivas we had on him. and he thinks that he is actually cool luh.

haiz so bored.

last night went to marina square to walk. i got myself a new pair of heels! they are so chio and they are GOLD. (: wanted to bowl but got tired of waiting and left.

anyway, some stuff on my mind last night.

sometimes i wonder if you treat me as a fool. someone who is still so naive that
will never be able to comprehend what you're going through. do i really appear
that shallow? what is it that i'm doing worng that you can't even trust me with
little secrets?

am i ever a person useful to you at all? apparently, you
define people as either people who can be used, or people who can't. basically,
being labelled useful by you would deem one as capable. that's if you're the one
in charge of this world.

you never told me if i was of any use or not. i
assume it's the latter judging from the way you treat me. even after i proved to
you i was able to accept the unimaginable, it's still not good enough. all my
effort have been mercilessly silenced by you.

that's why i've decided.
that from now onwards, if my decisions/actions doesn't affect you in any way,
i'll do what's beneficial for myself.

it's my new resolution. thank you for your time.

♥ 3:44 PM