it's been two days since he left. stayed over last night to watch and guard his body at the wake with mom.

i saw mom cried. i guess she misses him damn much. to her, grandpa was almost like another father. someone so close that she trusted him with her children.

grandma has been strong so far. the one making jokes and laughing the loudest. but i guess we somehow know that she's sad. and it hurts to see her in this state. not eating well, not sleeping well.

last night handsomeboy came over to bring supper. so sweet of him to drop by.

i waited as mom dozed off hugging xiaolan beside me on some chairs. poor lady, she only slept for an hour plus since his death. for no reason at all, i kept looking at his body. some part of me longs for him to slowly open his eyes and flash me that smile again. but again, i know it won't happen.

around five in the morning when mom was more awake, i went to nap beside the coffin. and i felt as if he was still around like when i was little. moving towards me with the smile on his face and squatting down beside where i napped. watching me rest.

and i started to whistle his favourite song. and i hummed. before i knew it, i was in tears again.

silly me

♥ 3:48 PM