man, this will be my most tiring Christmas ever. have two performances, one at yms and the other at church. woo, i'm an entertainer! (x

guess that's why i'm so tired this weekend. well, partially was cause i didn't sleep much. but i have to MOVE my body! hehe. first time after so long i'm finally working out. basically we'll be doing hiphop for the church Christmas thing so yea, move and move. effectively, i suffered muscle aches. haha. for the performance at yms, it'll just be piano. LUCKILY. and being so tired, and feeling quite unwell, i slept from three or four plus in the afternoon till this morning around seven almost eight! haha. i was so shocked! when i saw the light in the morning, i thought it was my imagination tricking me and i believed it was evening. haha. but remembering the previous day was raining, the contrast made me like really wake up. haha. i was so amazed too that i messaged him. hehe. and he replied,

"the power of ***** leeuuz unleashed"

haha. ok, i guess i'm really quite skilled. (x so today, i feel great! haha. so the early sleep early wake body good actually works. LOL. but it certainly does not cure muscle aches. which does not really matter cause i'm actually enjoying the aching. hehe. love the way my body feels tired after the work out, shows i was making effort. (:

oh! our tenth month! so happy! the day he asked me to be his gf is still so fresh in my mind. (: and every time i think about it, i'd feel my face widening and my lips twisting uncontrollably upwards. tingling sensations will flow from my head to my toes that makes me jiggle. sometimes i wish my dreams will take me back to that time but sadly, they never did. haha. still, that night was so magical. i believe it is for most people. whether the setting was romantic or not, whether it was just the two of you or not, i believe it'll be beautiful. well, i believe it is for two that love each other. that night, though i wasn't expecting it, i was secretly hoping for him to pop the question. hehe. call me naive, but i truly felt like the luckiest girl in the universe that night. can't really imagine if we're not together. OHKAYYY!! MUSHY. (x

but seriously, the person who's able to excite and calm, hurt and heal, so familiar yet so confusing at the same time, is really SOMEONE. haha. love is really so complicated yet simple at the same time. somehow, the person who end up hurting you most, may be the one that you love the most. someone you can give your all to, may not return the same amount. this relationship is just like us humans and God. it's like no matter how unconditional his love for us is, most of us don't love him the same way. seriously for believers, if someone asked you, God sent His one and only son Jesus Christ to die for your sins on the cross, will you die for God? to sacrifice your life to repay Him? to completely let Him take over your life because you "owe" it to Him? honestly, i'm no where near to even get hurt for Him yet. i used to think i could when i just accepted Christ. but now, guess times changed. child-like faith, i want it.

but for non-believers, naively, i used to think this type of posts would somehow "spark" some enlightenment into you. but i guess not. haha. but really, have you ever wondered why so many things seemed to fall into place? how so many things keep going wrong even though you tried praying for the best? tried praying for things to get better instead it got worse? well, the thing is, you tried. you did not do it. sometimes, the optimistic attitude is applied. we pray cause we believe it'll happen. we pray because we know God will help us. maybe you pray that you strike the lottery, but it doesn't happen. then you tell me, you really believed it'd happen but it didn't. but think, is gambling ever good? winning is not the point. losing isn't too. the point is, when you win, you want more. unlimited wants but limited resources. how much money do you want to win? sooner or later, once you're hooked on winning money, you can't get enough of it. but money is limited. it'll deplete. that's when you start losing. but you feel unjust, you want to win it all back. in the end? you'll end up with nothing. think? God did not let you win, because He did not want you to take ONE BIG round to suffer. maybe He'd rather you think of Him as being petty not letting you win. dropping you hints to stop. well, just think about it yourself.

ok, i think i've blabbered too much.



-LeeUuZ

♥ 11:01 PM