just read a meaningful email sent by skg. about Christmas when we celebrate it. how joyous the season when people sing, exchange gifts, feast and party. but how many a times do we all know the meaning behind the celebration? how many of us remember the reason why?

it's Christ's birthday.

how many of us actually celebrate this glorious day when our Saviour was born? how many of us actually take time to give thanks to God? every year without fail, we'd remember to buy gifts for family and friends. every year without fail, we party and countdown to Christmas day. but do we remember the birthday boy? how does it feel when it's your birthday yet you're not invited to the party? how does it feel when it's your birthday and you see people exchanging presents when you're not given one. how does it feel that you're not the star of the show during your birthday?

wonder how come we'd always link Christmas to santa claus instead. how ironic cause Christmas is actually CHRISTmas. and wonder why we link so many unrelated stuff like sleigh bells and reindeer to Christmas instead of how God sent Jesus on the very same day to earth so that Jesus can die for our sins? after reading the email, i got guilty. i realise how much i've been missing out with the Lord. through this whole year, how many people have i actually brought to church? how many people do i spend effort on to even try bringing them to church? to me, this year is a so-called wasted year since i haven't been doing anything at all. and was i a good testimony to my family and friends? colleagues? i guess not. sigh, i'm so "gonna get a hug real bad" from God. haha. well, no use procrastinating.

still, i'm really confused about my life with what God's planning to do with it. it's not like i can write beautiful testimonies like those emails i receive. it's not like i can convey messages well enough to tell people of the good news. ): demoralised i am.

but i do know that i should spend more time in church. guess the whole year i've been some sort of avoiding close contact with the church, my cell people for example. many of them don't even know i quit school till i told them. my cell! they're supposed to be the ones that'll be most updated by me. so roughly you can guess the situation of my relationship with the church. haha. sadly, this avoidance created some distance in between and i have hard time trying to open up myself in front of them. maybe i wasn't thinking of opening up in the first place.

so i'm working harder now. bothering to take part in the dance thing. trying to spend more time in church. proportion my time spent between bf, family, friends and church. guess more balance is needed since next year i'll be starting school. for now, i hope our dance will turn out good. even if it's not, i know the people put in a lot of effort for it already. and most importantly, we'd enjoy it and use it to glorify God.

for non-believers that come across this blog. you may think why so many believers of God spend so much time trying to get the idea across to you guys. you may think, all these are bull. ask us questions like why are there still sufferings on earth? why do we believe in the Bible which is written by men? but ask yourself, does it really matter to you? no one's forcing you to believe in God. no one's threatening you with a knife i dare say. but do you know, how many believers have had knives and guns to their throats and heads? how many believers suffer because atheist believe in themselves instead of God? who's the one forcing their own set of thinking on others? since you don't believe us in the first place so why bother messing with us? it's weird how the world works and you know it. it's just a matter of God vs the people. get a life instead of messing up others'. one last thing, is God really so ridiculous that atheist around the world choose to go against just this "imaginary figure"? maybe it's just the biggest competitor in the so-called religion world.

whoa, long naggy post. haha. well more about my life. still working, but it's getting more fun by the day. working has turned to competing games on facebook with my colleagues. more teasing and more sharing. but we're all leaving soon. first it'll be canderina, then sock hwee, then me, then fion. boo. i'll miss them. haha. so mushy! but i really enjoy the times in starhub with them. and also gladys. hehe. she's been a really nice boss to us. really really very nice. don't know how many bosses can stand their employees taking so many leaves, playing games, teasing her etc etc. haha. cool huh? (x



-LeeUuZ

♥ 11:40 PM